HyperReceptivity

I am sorry to admit, but I am confused...

With civilization, with culture, with love, with myself.  At this moment, I couldn't even tell you what day of the week it no longer is, if it is morning or night I wish for more, or if I am falling in love or despising the very thought of it.  I can't help listening to new material by Death Cab for Cutie - fixing my life upon their lyrical track work.  My heart is tender, yet at the same time it is poisoned by my mind...

I am lost, and I am alright.  

Staring at the hearts and minds of many, I cannot help but poke fun at the pink elephant facing us all.  Not a single person really knows what the fuck is going on.  Call it a transitional time period of civilization or culture (or are they the same at this day in age?).  Blame it on my age.  Just to get a glimpse of what my grandparents saw at my age is all I desire.  

I want to be BIG - to find Zultar.  Standing in line for the ferris wheel but still to short to ride.   Music provides the commentary of my inner ego - screaming to escape from the air-conditioned glass boxes.  It comforts my vanity and yet it wants to make me puke at the same time.  

Yet how hypocritical of me to comment on all of this by posting a blog nobody will ever read?  How maddening it is to want and seek change but not knowing where to begin.  Paralyzed by being a human.

So distract yourself as best you can.  Bury your emotions with the click of a wheel.  Post another comment so we can all agree we are really getting dumber.  Cross the line without even blinking.  Let's all purchase our first-class tickets to the end of the world.

I am this age only once, and loving every waking and closing minute of it.

 

Seeking the Unknown

Sure, life is overwhelming.  But what else can we do?  Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning news is one example.  Spend a quarter of your weeks earnings on horse raising over the weekend is another.  

There are an infinite number of possibilities one can exercise to ease themselves away in this time to pretend.  To escape - to either motivate or justify a living of earning and work.

Instead of looking for that "escape" - I often find myself journeying to the heart of reason.  Or at least attempt anyway.  It is the aspect of the "unknown" that influences and guides me most.  Knowledge seeping over in endless books.  Implementing a notion of a story line or character into your own life from the movie you saw over the weekend.  The endless hunt to define your life through the music in which you listen to.  These are all elements of seeking something "more", something "greater".  We almost can never be satisfied with what is in the moment - and that is perfectly fine.  

Some people choose to challenge the "unknown" where others find the "unknown" too challenging.  And then there are those who are (or claim to be) fine with whatever.  

I am in no position, or have any power to dictate how one should, or should not, live and spend their life.  By diverse means, we arrive at the same end - and the "unknown" rises every morning at the same time you do.  

Yeah, it's overwhelming.  But what else can we do?